How to Manage Holiday Stress

It is Ok to Feel “Just Ok” During the Holidays

Did you know that feeling bad about feeling good is quite common? This phenomenon is called a meta-emotion, a feeling that occurs in response to other feelings. According to a study published in the American Psychological Association journal Emotion, feeling guilty about experiencing joy, happiness, or wellness during difficult or challenging times is a negative-positive meta-emotion. These feelings often surface around the holiday season and are significant because they are linked to depression and can serve as indicators of our level of emotional awareness.

Meta-emotions can have a significant impact on mental health. Research suggests that denying, suppressing, or failing to accept our emotions is associated with increased anxiety, depression, and decreased overall well-being. During times when others may be expressing fear, anger, sadness, or stress, it can feel difficult to embrace feelings of happiness or gratitude in our own lives. As a result, we may find ourselves questioning whether our emotions are appropriate or wondering if something is wrong with us.

The holiday season can intensify these emotional experiences, creating additional stress and emotional strain. However, emotions are not right or wrong; they provide valuable information about our experiences and needs. When we push feelings aside rather than acknowledge them, they often resurface in unexpected ways, affecting our personal relationships, workplace interactions, and overall well-being. Developing emotional intelligence means recognizing, accepting, and processing our emotions with self-compassion. The following steps can help you become more aware of your emotions and identify when it may be helpful to seek support from others.

Self-Help Steps: 

Normalize feelings

It’s important to normalize all our emotions, including negative ones, and to acknowledge our feelings. Studies show that suppressing emotions can lead to physical health problems and mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

Discuss these feelings with people you trust

Talking about these feelings with people you trust can help you realize you're not alone in what you're experiencing. Bringing emotions into the open often reduces the guilt or shame we may carry around them. It's okay to feel okay, even when others are facing challenges. Recognizing your own gratitude doesn't lessen your compassion for others. In fact, it can help you show up for the people who may need your support most.

Show compassion

Give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling without judgment. The holidays can bring a mix of emotions, and that's completely normal. Accepting that you're okay can ease feelings of guilt and help you respond to yourself with greater understanding, validation, and compassion.

UNM Resources 

If you need more than these self-help steps and would like to discuss these feelings with people you can trust, UNM has support for you. The UNM Mental Health Resources webpage offers many options, including Counseling, Assistance & Referral Service (CARS), UNM Women’s Resource Center Counseling, and the AGORA Crisis Center.